“I can’t change. I’ve always been this way!”
“Is that so?”
This is where the conversation begins. What is that thing that stops you from pursuing the change you want? Guilt? Lack of self-confidence?
Usually it’s the fear of change itself. You never know exactly where it will lead. Eventually, you reach your limit. Fear or no fear you just have to move forward. That’s where my clients are at when they reach out to me.
Cathy for example, could no longer hide that she felt insignificant and unheard. Deep down she thought she didn’t deserve a better life. And the idea of speaking up for herself meant a confrontation she didn’t think she could handle.
She learned to trust herself by shifting her attention. Rather than focusing on how others made her feel weak, she began to look at what baggage they brought to the table, and how she took it personally. When she started letting that go, things began to change in ways she’d never anticipated.
On the outside the only difference was that she started speaking up. On the inside, everything had shifted. She learned to connect the physical symptoms of her stress to the underlying emotions that kicked in whenever she denied herself what she needed. That was a huge ‘ah hah’ moment, another powerful motivator for change.
People who’ve never been coached assume that it’s a process of advice and analysis. But that’s no way to build confidence and self-esteem. For Cathy and everyone, healthy change comes from within.
We explored her situation with practical exercises targeted at her own obstacles, like fear of change, speaking up and valuing herself. She learned to take small methodical steps. Her favorite practice was about learning to like herself. You’d be amazed what hidden stories that one brings up, and how liberating it can be. Many people look at themselves entirely in the negative. Women more than men. On the other hand, they reverse course a lot more easily.
My clients are motivated but it doesn’t make their fear any less. In fact, the fear factor goes up when they actually turn to face it. However, when they see how they create that fear, their perspective shifts. The inconceivable becomes entirely natural. It’s so cool!
People in their world change too — you know, the ‘ripple effect’.
Change doesn’t have to be scary. If you have big dreams, you are acutely aware that life is short and you are ready to fulfill your potential, contact me to book a complimentary 45 min session and discover what you and I can accomplish together.
One thing is for sure —where you go will be a more honest, a more open and a more loving place.